- Weight: 12st 7lbs
- Size: 14 (pushing 16 if I’m honest with myself)
Those statistics in themselves might not look that bad, but when you consider I don’t stand much over 5 feet tall it puts it a bit more in perspective. In fact my BMI is over 32 (anything above 30 is obese). Some people take BMI as a guideline rather than a rule as it doesn’t take into account muscle, which is heavier than fat. I totally agree with this approach however it does not let me off the hook as I have very little muscle right now. I’m the weakest I’ve ever been and not toned in the slightest, so my body fat percentage is shocking.
So I’m obese, all my weight is fat and when I look in the mirror I see a very round, fat, wobbly person. How did I get like this?
Although I’ve always loved food, as a kid I’d eat 3 balanced meals a day with only occasional treats or snacks and I’d also be very active. By the time I was 16 I looked like this:
(How good was my figure 8 years ago?!!)
Size 8s would hang off me and physically I was very fit.
Fast forward a few years and I became less active after leaving school/college with it’s lunchtime clubs and fitness room available on free periods. I also moved out from my parents’ house and my diet reflected this; I started eating more treats and junk food just because I could or it was convenient. However I had an active job and enjoyed going out dancing etc so I managed to maintain a fairly slim figure.
Then my joints (back, knees, hips) were getting more and more painful and eventually I was diagnosed with Hypermobility Syndrome (joint problems) and Chronic Pain and this was the start of my downwards spiral. I had to stop all impact exercise (running, gymnastics etc) and cut down my dancing. The pain stopped me doing as much and the fatigue (a side effect of my conditions) meant I needed to rest a lot. My conditions only got worse. Soon I had to sacrifice activities for rest time so that I could make it through the working week. My days consisted of little more than working, eating and sleeping, and by this time I had a desk job so my lifestyle was very inactive. I struggled to adjust my diet and kept eating what I always had. When I eventually accepted I couldn’t work full time anymore the extra hours I wasn’t working simply gave me more time to eat. Over the last few years the pounds have simply piled on.
Here’s a recent-ish photo (with my nephew):
Even there my clothes are pretty good at hiding quite how large I am.
At various times I have tried to take action but lack of willpower with food often led to yo-yo dieting and attempts at joining the gym or swimming regularly caused flare ups of my conditions (I didn’t have the hang of pacing). These would require weeks of rest to recover from ending my spell of exercise.
So what’s different now?
- I’m the largest I’ve ever been
- My doctor has told me to lose weight
- Carrying extra weight is now making my joint conditions worse
- Most of my clothes don’t fit
- I’m more determined than ever
These and a few other things have added to my motivation to slim down again.
I recently went to an awards ceremony in a dress that didn’t really fit the occasion because it was the only dress I had that I could fit in. I realised at that point I couldn’t actually fit most of my wardrobe, including clothes I had only bought six months ago as ‘bigger’ clothes after going up yet another size. I did the same thing this weekend so I have more than two outfits that fit.
Today as motivation, and to mark the start of my journey I cleared out my wardrobe and took out everything that is now too small for me. This was the pile:
I knew I’d got big but this still shocked me. If it wasn’t for the new clothes I just bought this would have been 95% of my wardrobe. I am not getting rid of any of this pile though, as my aim is still to be able to fit these clothes again.
So what’s my plan?
I spoke to a friend recently about my habits and he described my eating as an addiction. This rang so true, and is why it is one of the first things I need to change. I have started cutting down meal portions, cutting out fast food and snacks, and generally eating healthier.
I also need to be more active – this is more difficult but still possible. Luckily I have a very supportive family and, knowing I struggle with most types of exercise, they got me a cross trainer for Christmas so I have a non-impact workout option right in my living room which I shall be using more and more. I will also be walking more on my ‘good’ days.
Why am I blogging this?
It’s great motivation – the more people who know my aim the more pressure there is to succeed yet also the more support there is to keep going. I’m hoping to track and share my journey regularly so I can’t make excuses and I can’t give up.
In addition, if I do well it may be good motivation for someone else!
First step: get my weight down to 12 stone.
Wish me luck!!
Just what Jayne is thinking... 